As I put the last piece into my portfolio, I found that it was incredible that I was approaching the end of this journey. It is extraordinary to see how much I have evolved as an artist. My journey with the drawing class is probably the most transformative experience during senior spring, a time of soul searching, bidding farewell, and looking forward to the future.
I still remember the first class, the time when I brought my shaking pencil to the piece of paper in front of me on the drawing horse. It felt so foreign, so bizarre, the contact between the tip of the instrument that could reflect much of my inner self. This was a perfectly beautiful and scary thing, since, in my pursuit of many ambitions, I have dropped my pencil in favor of other things. However, this semester, I decided to rekindle my relationship with my artistic self, my creative self, and the self that I slowly lost touch with through my early adulthood. It was pretty sad that, the first day of classes, I couldn’t draw, and it felt impossible to learn this again. Yet, I kept trying, relearning slowly from the very basic forms and expressions, slowly familiarizing myself with lines and volumes. Throughout this period, I learned of the importance of patience and kindness to myself. It’s like nurturing a child.
The magical moment happened first month into class. I remembered the day when I drew the 3rd in-class assignment—something inside came to life right all of a sudden. I remembered stepping into the classroom, I saw the still life put together by Professor Fick and felt an electrifying excitement. I really wanted to depict as much detail as possible. I totally forgot the fear that was preventing me from devoting full-heartedly to my work. I couldn’t remember how much time has passed. The next time I became aware of what was happening, I saw a beautiful drawing in front of me. I wanted to cry out of joy. It looked like what I could do 10 years ago. I felt the dormant artist inside me has wakened up. From then on, it just felt unstoppable. I would draw until my head hurts. Yet, I still felt so drawn to the assignment I was working on each time. Each piece has become portrait of a piece of my soul, of its multifarious dimensions.
Gradually, I began to see drawing as a meditative art, a way to connect with myself. I am grateful to myself and grateful to this time of life that has given me the time to learn what I am capable of, and how much of an artist I am. I am grateful for the support from my friends, professor Fick, and my classmates. Art will be an essential element in my life and I look forward to growing through building my artistic skills.
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