Going into this semester I was extremely excited to take a drawing class that I believed would help me relax and take a break from more stressful work in other classes. Ironically, drawing probably ended up being almost as stressful as these other classes and my response to the work that we did was a lot different than I had expected. I always believed that drawing was my thing because I was always a crafty and creative little kid and I guess I believed that this creativity would continue throughout my life even if I had not been continuously sketching throughout the years. I was very wrong. Creativity is very different as a child than it is as you grow older. I now believe that if I were to be a good artist and enjoy what I was doing and produce pieces that I like, I would have to put my whole self into art and not just take it as a college class. If drawing is something I have to do, I will not enjoy it.
It is not to say that I did not enjoy taking this class. I was happy that I was re-introduced to techniques such as subtractive drawing, shading and negative space drawings. However, because I was “assigned” to do drawings that focused on certain techniques I began to dislike what I was doing and it became something I had to do, rather than something I wanted to do. Art is a way to freely express yourself but taking an art class impedes on this notion, I didn’t feel like I was “free.” With rubrics and deadlines I was rushed and was forced to check my work to see if it had all the elements that it was supposed to. I know that you cant take these elements out of the class because the point is to practice techniques, I just don’t know if it was the best choice for me.
Even with our sketchbooks I was not inspired or excited to create my own pieces, it was more of a, I have to get 48 sketches in by the end of the semester thing. It’s sad to say but I think drawing and I have grown apart and as the years go by I think this will continue to happen. However, I still am excited to use my creativity in other areas of my life. Whether it be in other forms of visual art, or applying it to other subjects that I am interested in, I am realizing that I still am a creative person, just in a very different way that I used to be.